Why I Left My Dream Engineering Job
Writing this post allowed me to clear up and make sense of some of my thoughts. I hope through this you may start making connections and sense out of your own life. Thanks for reading.
Ever since I was a kid all I wanted to be was a Disney Imagineer. I was a very thoughtful, methodical, and patient kid, that loved to build and design. My favorite toys were Legos, Brio train sets, and Knex. I fell in love with the amusement park design because of my Knex Serpent Roller Coaster. Mix all that with my love for my VHS Disney Sing-Along Songs and my mind was set, Imagineer, here I come.
Fast forward to college (Go Badgers!). Here I found my love of computer programming and solidified my love for performance. During my freshman year, I took CS302 the introductory computer science course at UW-Madison. From the first day, it just made sense. I looked forward to my homework. By the second week of class, I became an unofficial, self-appointed TA for my classmates. I found a constructive medium I was good at. I thought of it as my art, code was the paint and the computer was my canvas. The second passion college helped me refine was performance. I have a history of performing in my youth, but as a college kid is where I excelled. I was a male cheerleader for the Wisconsin Badgers. I never thought I'd be so happy wearing polyester. I was lucky enough to cheer at Camp Randal, the Kohl Center, several bowl games, 2 Final Fours, and a National Championship. It was a dream. So in college, I found my art, programming, and performing. But I still had a dream.
Becoming an Imagineer was still on my radar, and I did what I could to get my foot in the door. I applied for all their internship programs, took specific classes, and found connections. I even went so far as to fly down to Florida with my Pops to meet a higher up in Imagineering. He was very accompanying and even gave me a backstage peek! However, it was clear they were looking for someone with some real experience. I soldiered on through college, until, on a whim, I took a DANCE 560 - digital lighting design. It was a 1 credit class that ended up taking more of my time than all my other engineering classes that semester. My personal term project was a way to record and playback light shows. I demoed this creation with a Christmas light show choreographed to Mariah Carrie's "All I Want for Christmas is You". You know, the one that drives mall workers crazy. I designed the hardware and the code. My roommate Mitch wrote the show. Well, that show got me my sudo dream job at a wonderful lighting company here in Wisconsin. I hoped this entry into the entertainment technology field was my ticket to Disney.
All right, Christian, you've talked for 3 paragraphs not even mentioning the title of this post... If everything is so rainbows and gumdrops, why would you leave any of this?! Great question my dear reader (Hi Mom!), you'll find out right after this message from my sponsor!
//TODO find a sponsor to pay me lots of money
Fast forward, I graduated from college, said goodbye to my cheer fam, and readied to take on the world. I had a great job with great pay all lined up, but first I had to do something for me. In my senior year of college, I started to invest, specifically in Bitcoin. I cashed out 5K and took myself on a 2-week solo trip to Europe (Highly Advised). Three non-English speaking countries a backpack, zest for life, and a healthy amount of naivety made for a great trip. I bring this up because it planted a little seed in my head: 'People can be extraordinarily resourceful and CAN do anything they put their mind to if they don't let the fear of the unknown stop them'. When I flew back I started my dream job.
This small company is amazing, lunch every day, a TV wall, bar and pinball machines up the wazoo. All those things are great, but the best part of it was my coworkers and bosses. I very often described this dysfunctional family and the company as the land of misfit toys. I was the train with square wheels. Here I was given a product idea and full dominion. I was the expert if I needed something I bought it. It was an engineer, a kid in the candy shop scenario. Over 3 years I took that product from conception to manufacturing. I designed all the electronics, programmed all the firmware, wrote its initial IOS and Android app, procured manufacturing equipment, and started to build the thing. The only thing I didn't have the lead on was the design of the physical case. Not to toot my own horn, but this is an important distinction that I will bring up later. I was proud of my 3-year creation! Not long after, I left the company.
What? Why? That makes no sense! What about Disney? Are you ok? Yes, I am dear reader (Mom). Up until now, I've only been laying out the puzzle pieces that led me to my decision. Now let’s start putting it together. Onward and forward!
Remember my other passion from college? Performance? Well, when I graduated college I went right to an office job. Nothing glamorous, just work, albeit fun. I was missing something in my life. At first, I tried literal running, and this is from a guy who could barely run a mile on a good day. I ended up running a marathon within my first year. At that same time, I got really into diets and nutrition. I needed up keto for 6 months. I even completed a 7-day water fast (In a healthy way!). I fell in love with pushing myself to see what I could truly do. Remember that seed? People are resourceful? Well in this leg of my life I was proving that to myself. Now that belief was a strong sapling. But I was still missing something! That was until I talked to my group fitness instructor friend. One day out of the blue I asked her how to become an instructor. She knew me as my goofy cheerleader persona 'Chuckles'. She thought I'd make a great instructor and had me audition. I put on the mic for the first time and the rest is history. I finally found my performance, I loved to push myself and found out I love to push others. It is super fulfilling to lead people as they fight in the trenches. You see them at their most vulnerable when they are raw and hurt. When they finish that workout, after they climb out victorious, their sense of accomplishment is palpable. That's the good stuff. I found helping others help themselves was rewarding. Plus I got to jump around and yell like an idiot for an hour, so there is my performing fix. So at this point, I was complete. For now...
When I was a kid, I put together those train sets for me and no one else. Artists paint for themselves first and sell it later. When my Pops started his business, I told him "This is your thing, I will not be the one to take it over". And this is what I realized at my job at the end, this business will never be mine. Disney will never be mine. Articulating this is hard. I'm not a control freak. I don't have to own everything. I'm not looking for world domination. Yet, it has become clear to me that I want to build my legacy and help as many people along the way that I can. To drive this point home: My Papa is my hero and he was a gym teacher. He guided and influenced hundreds of students throughout his career. It's hard to count on how many times I've heard "Arch was my favorite teacher" or how he changed their lives for the better. It was even harder to count how many people showed at his funeral. He has a legacy, my Pops is well on his way, now it's my turn.
Remember our sapling idea from earlier? Well with a solo trip to Europe, tens of classes taught, a couple of marathons, and a 3-year product under my belt, that sapling grew into a sturdy tree. I wholly believe that I can do anything I set my mind to. All it takes is 2 large scoops of determination and a healthy sprinkling of naivety. Sure I'll have my days where I'm not superman, but for the most part that's my script. With this perspective, I took a look at what I was currently doing and If I could see myself doing it for any longer. Nope. I would not be satisfied staying and working on another project. I checked that box off. I would not be satisfied with just training on the side. I needed to find something to build my legacy on.
So my dear reader (maybe Dad), that is why I left my job. I have my skills, my drive, and an unyielding belief that I will figure it out. I was comfortable and that scared the shit out of me. I could have sunk another five years easy and would have stayed in the same place. I know stagnation will not fulfill me. I have a lot to give this world, and the only way I know how to do things is to jump in headfirst. But don't worry, I always hedge my bets. Right now I am in EMT school trying out a different trade, and I'm still refining myself as a personal trainer. But I have something more exciting on the docket. Remember that I made a point of taking that most of that product from idea to manufacturing? Well, I realized I was just a business, a solo developer, working under that umbrella of another. I was acting as an inventor: an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship is my next frontier, and I have the perfect product for my maiden voyage; one that melds all of my passions! But for now, dear reader, I am keeping that under wraps until it's ready for the limelight. Until then, keep striving you beautiful person.
Cheers,
Ya boi,
Christian
